behind the mask

pushed up against a wall
as if i’m weightless
slapped across the face,
without so much as a reason

bruises along my arm,
i guess i can't wear a t-shirt this week
sleeping with my eyes open,
how did it even get to this point?

one thing after another
but we’re 'happy' when he’s not angry
his anger is not him, i tell myself

but it is.
that is him.

“i’m sorry babe.. i love you. i didn’t mean to,” he says.
oh but you did, darling. you did.

-s

 

serenity

listen carefully..
to the birds,
to the waves,
to the people.

each sound
represents a story,
represents a time.

engrave it into your memory
for it is these little moments,
these little sounds,
that will calm you at night.

- s

 

draining

do you ever find it hard to breathe?
hard to find the words
to explain to people why

why you don't want to get out of bed
why you don't want to open the blinds.
why you're afraid.
afraid of people,
afraid of conversation,
afraid of it all.

- s

unpredictable

how terrifying is it
that you can pour your soul into the chest of another being.
that you can give them all you have.
all you are.
all you know. 
but even still,
they can choose to leave.
to walk away with a part of you;
without you.
most walk away.

and yet,

how beautiful is it
that you can pour your soul into the chest of another being.
that they can open their heart,
to you.
and only you.
and stay.
because some do stay..

- s